Saturday, 25 January 2014

Why Doesn't He Call?

I may be a little bit behind in sharing my goals for this year, but (spoiler alert) one of them is to bring a little bit of romance into my life. I previously blogged about this a few months back and was overwhelmed by the response, but I have decided (once more) to be proactive in my search for love. And, less than four weeks into the year, I already have a story to tell.

I was perusing the old online sites when I saw a profile for someone I recognised - the friend of my friends' boyfriend. We had met before in person on a night out in a bar a while back, but due to my own stupidity I wasn't feeling too great and went home early and then massively regretted it for ages afterwards. And so, being the chicken that I am, I unhid my profile in the hopes that he would recognise me too and send me a message (rather than the other way around), and lo and behold! he did! We had been emailing back and forth for a few days when he gave me his number, and we agreed to meet that weekend. We had a nice walk around a country park and then a drink afterwards as well. We chatted easily, had things in common, blah blah, and had a nice time. There may even have been a cheeky peck on the lips at the end.

We continued to text for the next few days, and then he went quiet, and said that he had a busy weekend, and the alarm bells started ringing. I sent a message every couple of days, wanting to appear interested and cool but not pushy or needy, and he would reply, but conversation was stilted. This week we went over two days without texting (and I was doing my utmost to not be a complete girl and complain about it/seem like a complete psycho after one date), and then he told me that he had feelings for someone he's known for a long time, and he's following through with her instead.

I told myself going into this that even if it was just that one date, it was still one date more than in 2013. Isn't that sad? But never mind, I just wanted to test the waters, and get back out there, and if nothing else came of it, at least I would know I wasn't completely repulsive to 100% of the male population. This one wasn't it, and that's OK. Sort of. But, being proactive feels good, so I'm going to keep on trying. Onwards and upwards.

Of course, it doesn't make me feel any better about the plans I have for Friday, where I will be the only singleton at a dinner with nine couples...

someecards.com - When a girl on the internet talks about being single, I know she's either pyscho or has high standards. Then it's a race to see how soon she reveals which it is.

8 comments:

  1. You've gotten 2014 off to a good start if you've already had a date in first couple weeks! Congrats! I too, have mostly married/committed friends, I wish I had great advice or something uplifting to say, but basically I try not to take headcounts at gatherings to see if I'm the only single one there. It helps me focus on just talking to the people I'm there with, rather than worry about pairings. I guess ignorance is bliss! I do have a question, why did you have your profile hidden? Why not keep it visible?

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    1. I mainly hid my profile because I teach young adults and was a bit paranoid about them finding me online!!!

      I see your reasoning about not taking headcounts, but this is SO engrained within me, I think starting at school when I used to count people when we had to work in pairs or groups. I was always terrified of being the unfortunate soul with no partner, and it became reality on a regular basis. I think it's good advice though, I'll try to work on it. Thanks!

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  2. I think Ive been on 93947 dates that ended like that- I am the queen of one-dates. Sometimes even 2-3 dates...and then silence. i am glad he fessed up and was honest with you, even if it took too long (so many guys dont even do that!). Just keep at it girl. Date number 93948 was the winner for me finally :)

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    1. Yes, I was pleased that he was eventually honest as well! Good for you, gives me hope too!!!

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  3. I know exactly how you feel. I have been on the opposite side of this too. It's very tough when you're surrounded by people in love, getting married and having babies (at our age, especially) I finally met someone in June of 2013 who made me realize that all of the waiting and wondering was worth it. I have hopes for you as well. 2014 is your year :)

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  4. My sister has never had a boyfriend and I think it bothers her. I envy people who don't compromise their values/beliefs just to be able to say they have a boyfriend. I did that for so many years because I was too insecure to be on my own. I do think it's awesome that he was honest with you - as I was reading I half expected him to drop off the earth never to be seen again. Also, in a world of technology I think online dating is a great tool. You can instantly weed out idiots that you might have been attracted to if you met in a bar or something! xx

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    1. I do feel confident in my own abilities, but I can't pretend that being long-term single doesn't bother me too! I understand how your sister feels. It can be really hard to think "I'm a nice enough person, reasonably intelligent etc, and still no one wants to date me".

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